Ten years ago De Gouden Kooi (The Golden Cage) appeared on Dutch TV and was by far the most disgusting program ever. Fuck the spiritual and physical welfare of the residents of a luxurious residence in Eemnes, that is what media magnate John de Mol most have thought. The cameras followed the activities of these lawless geezers 24 hours a day. They went for insults, violence and even rape. With only one purpose, to eliminate the other participants and get the big cash prize. Questions were asked by the later Finance Minister, Jeroen Dijsselbloem, in those days only a plush filler and begrudging a welfare mother making some money, because her crying children were shown on tv. The viewing figures reached unprecedented heights, all because Terror Jaap, worst among equals so to speak, was spinning round in his own vomit, and by doing more of that he became the winner.
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On his way to victory he played a chess rapid match against GM Jan Werle. Jan arrived at the villa in a very expensive limousine, dressed in a Armani suit. He lost the first game! Terror Jaap – FIDE rating 2175 – was dancing for joy. As you can imagine, Jan was not. A disaster scenario, he said, losing the first game on national TV. You will not be surprised to hear, that the record of that game has disappeared without trace.
‘But alas Terror Jaap’s luck ended there. Not only did he lose the match 3-2, but also all his money. The DSB bank, where he deposited his winnings went bankrupt. And after the tax authorities had taken a closer look, he also had to pay them 450,000 euro on top! Now I will have to really go to work for my money, explained Jaap afterwards. You do not wish such a thing on anyone. As GM Hein Donner once said: “I started to play chess, because I did not want to go to work.”
Jaap will never become a good little boy, which he proved in his invitation to GM Yge Visse: “Hoi Yge, I am putting together the Enfant Terrible team, to win the Waalkade chess tournament. How about we stick it to the establishment together??” In a movie on You Tube Yge and his girlfriend stated that everybody was brain-dead, especially the psychiatrists of the institute, where the movie was recorded. The ideal partner for Jaap and for Yge the ideal best man at his wedding. But… the day before the big day, Yge was put in jail, so his bride from Beirut- worth 20 camels no less apparently – was weeping like a willow.
To my surprise Jaap behaved like a real gentleman at the Hands & Brains tournament this summer in Amsterdam. On Facebook GM Dimitri Reindermann – rating 2573 – said he was interested. But Dimitri and Jaap-(2250) could not become a team: 4000 for a pair was the maximum rating total. Such a pity for Jaap: having to play with a weak partner he ended up next to last
Jacques Jambon
Jacques Jambon will produce an image column on a daily basis during the Chess Festival, where text and pictures will give you a surprising vision of the chess world, in his own words and through the eyes of a person who has seen it all (and may make you feel the same). He does not sit on the fence, run with the hare and hunt with the hounds. He manages to combine a romantic style with an eye for the painful truth about that twilight world, where grandmasters and patzers meet. Jambon is not only a chessplayer but also erstwhile reporter for the Nieuwsblad van het Noorden (a northern newspaper), anarchistic enemy of the state, goal- and, barkeeper, poet,-fashion icon, (the list goes on).
Important to know: the reflections of Ham are not automatically shared by the tournament organization. The organizers tried their very best to contact the photographers and ask permission for using their pictures. If necessary, please contact us.
